My earliest memories of strange gift-giving are all family related. Each year, my father would request a newer, larger coffee cup, and each year, my mother and I would try to find him a mug more ludicrous than the previous year. Eventually, we hit a bit of a dead end, and went in the opposite direction. Always one to commit to a joke, I filled up a tiny white tea saucer -- complete with little pink flowers -- and brought my Dad his Christmas coffee in it. Though I did have a backup cup waiting just outside the room. We don't appreciate too much interference with coffee in the Hart family.
Later years involved buying tacky car magnets and slapping them on the back bumper when my Dad wasn't looking, or wrapping up a Rachel Ray cookbook (Dad hates Rachel Ray) in ten layers of wrapped boxes. One year I gave my grandfather a princess crown for his birthday. He didn't get it.
I hadn't put much thought into this prank gifts; after all, I get my sense of humor from my Dad, and we'd always given each other joke presents, so I thought everyone did. Of course, my grandparents aren't really amused by joke gifts, but some of my cousins are. And some of my family just gives strange gifts as though they are normal. I received a maroon shirt one year that had "FLIRT" slapped across the chest in bold white typeface, lined with rhinestones. If you knew me in high school, or even if you know me now, you can probably imagine why this would be hilarious.
But for a lot of people, gift-giving is a serious thing. My mom takes great care choosing her presents. The tradition of giving gifts has been around for a long time. The wise men brought gifts for Jesus in the Bible. Birthday celebrations have been recorded as early as Roman times, and are hardly an exclusively American concept. Although primarily expressions of affection, expressions which may be more beneficial to the giver than to the receiver (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/11/health/11well.html?_r=1), there are some emotional strings attached, as well. When someone gives you a gift, you tend to feel like you should give them a gift back. The price of the gift should match the level of affection or familial connection involved. An inappropriate gift could result in emotional trauma of a wide variety.
So why do inappropriate gifts make me so happy?
When I started thinking about this, I started to think of all of the strange "gifts" I've been given over the years. Some are from Christmas, some from my birthday, and some are really stretching the word "gift." But still, here is my list of ten bizarre/creepy presents given in the last decade (ranked in order of weirdness):
This probably doesn't seem strange, but what makes it weird is that it came from my parents. Why did my non-drinking parents have a bottle of coconut rum? What was the thought process they went through before handing it off to me? I imagine something like, hey, let's give this to our daughter. She's kind of a lush. She likes... rum. (Hint: I have no attachment to Captain Morgan, especially of the coconut variety. I like that I can drink it for $3 at the Smiling Moose. I've had a bottle of regular Captain Morgan for no less than four years.)
This is actually kind of an awesome gift. Awesome both because I love New England Clam Chowder, but also because it was handpicked to be sort of silly. It came as part of an awesome Boston-themed birthday gift, but I imagine few people can say they got and loved two cans of soup for their birthday.
The most awesome woman I worked with at Pool City won this one for me at Kennywood. It's great because it is both weird and creepy. It's made out of that sort of tough material (so to you four people on Between Me and You who think I still sleep with a stuffed animal -- it's not this one), and it's hard to tell, but it's big. Big enough to sit on a chair. Big enough to be put into clothes and made to look like a person. Also, it has to live in my closet, because I'm scared of it.
My college roommate, Sara, and I had a tradition of getting each other strange gifts. It started with a Dwight bobblehead doll, continued with a set of Shamwows, a Betsy Ross mug, and this lovely Gettysburg nail clipper. It also has a file, and is a keychain. Though, I couldn't keep it on my keys because it's huge and kept falling off. Still, so wonderfully random.
Got this one in high school, from a friend who said, "I know how much you love Tom Felton, but I couldn't find a Draco doll, so I got you this." And now, because I'm too sentimental to pitch it, I will eternally possess a naked Peter Griffin. Gift giving at its finest!
I imagine the way I felt when my Dad gave me this for Christmas is about the same way Pap felt when I gave him that princess crown. Half amused, half confused, all happy.
Because nothing says "repressed white girl" like a Du Rag. And the picture of me in it will never, ever appear.
Personalized by a 2011 stock boy to say "Merry August Amanda" from what once read "Merry Christmas Kyle," this one would be hard to replace. It's just one of the many weird items I've carried with me from my five years at Pool City, but I feel like it pretty much speaks to every feeling I've ever had about the place.
Another high school remnant. Another thing I could never seem to throw away. It used to have a box, but who knows what happened to that. Probably picked up by some poor slut who thought, "Finally! A soap made just for me!" Only to discover the soap was missing. Still, it's in the plastic. The day I break down and use this will be a sad day, indeed.
I mean, this one speaks for itself.
So why do people like giving each other weird prank gifts? I can't speak for everyone, but mostly it's just funny. A creepy or bizarre gift speaks to how much you really know a person. An intentionally strange gift takes some time to pick out, some thought, and pretty much eliminates the pressure of gift-giving. Will your friend hate that shirt you're buying. Of course! But that's what you want. Your friend is confused, but laughing, you are happy at your success, and everyone wins. It's not expensive, you don't have to compare price tags. Just sit back and watch a look of sheer terror and/or bemusement cross the receiver's face.
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